Cougar Cruises: not happening on Carnival’s watch.

Aw, shucks. Carnival Cruise Line’s Cougar-themed cruise was such a success they’ve decided to….discontinue it. Cougars at Sea were just too much fun for Carnival lines. A spokesperson for the Cruise line ambiguously… Continue reading

Cute idea, weak analysis.

Got excited by the title of this article: 10 Ways to Flirt with a Nerd. I’m a terrible flirt.* And I like nerds. So initially this seemed like a sort of biblically enlightening… Continue reading

Ooh – idea for testing new limits of genetic mutation!

Before I speculate on what sort of extra terrestrial nightmare we could create by impregnanting either Paula Abdul or LiLo with some of The Hoff’s DNA, I have a certain obligation to again… Continue reading

the lost art of the letter…

Shopping for shower curtains today. Mine happens to be patently hideous and decked out with lots of gold tassels (mmm hmm.) that must have appealed to my tastes half a decade ago or… Continue reading

More steak and karaoke. Yep.

I like my sister’s take: “resolutions schmesolutions: i’m perfect.” I’d like to say that’s my reason for patently refusing to resolve each year. Actually, I’m just not particularly organized in the Personal Adminstrative… Continue reading

10 years of terrible movies I especially loved…

In much the same way I love critically derided music (primarily of the pop pursuasion, generally produced by Timbaland, usually featuring heavy use of auto-tune) I also particularly love Really Bad Movies. Movies… Continue reading

…in which I unleash my year-end rage on unassuming phone clients…

Sidenote: google “Rage” images sometime. There’s a hot mess in an 80′s bikini that I pretty much adore (almost as much as a good Chuck Norris poster…) Here’s the thing: I’m not a… Continue reading

Lloyd Dobler: actually sort of a pussy.

So, it took the fine literary styling of Chuck Klosterman in “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs” for me to realize this particularly inalienable truth: every woman’s seven-year coming-of-age crush on John Cusack is… Continue reading

Whoa there, stranger.

Hi, I’m Heather. I used to blog with sort of hyphenated, pseudo-regularity. Then, oh, I’d venture a guess that a new, rather demoralizing, vitality-sucking cubicle job stepped on stage and somehow, that creative… Continue reading

Yes, but do you have to be MEAN about it?

So, it’s that time of the year… The time when Walmart shoppers stampede and kill. The time when fathers plummet from rooftops while hanging lights. The time when Toys R Us shoppers pull… Continue reading